Fault?

Since the garden, blame has been a part of the human experience. “She made me do it…” Its tough to be accountable for our actions.  I hear it almost daily in my house.  “Why did you hit your brother?”…”He started it!!!”

I was writing this week about the challenging story of Dinah and Shechem (Gen. 34).  In this story, Dinah is noticed by the prince of a land.  The first verses of the chapter say, “Now Dinah, the daughter Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the women of the land. ² When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of that area, saw her, he took her and raped her. ³ His heart was drawn to Dinah daughter of Jacob; he loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her.”  

As I was studying, I went to read some expositions online about the chapter.  One I came across said this, “And it all came about in the course of everyday family living. Dinah, Jacob’s daughter by Leah, was about 14 or 15. Like any teenage girl, she wanted some girl friends, so she started wandering over to Shechem. As she hung out there, she scored big‑‑the prince, for whom the town was named, fell for her.

What 14 or 15 year‑old girl wouldn’t be thrilled by that? It would be like a freshman girl being asked to the homecoming dance by the captain of the football team. Dinah was probably a bit naive, so she allowed herself to get into a situation with Shechem where the two of them were alone. His passion got the best of him, and he raped her.”

The writer makes the point that Jacob and his family should not have been living in that area in the first place.  There is a good and valid argument for that, but what I read above really infuriated me.

1.)There is no indication that she was “thrilled” by his attentions.  The Bible says HE saw her, HE took her, HE raped her.

2) There is no indication that “she allowed herself to get into a situation with Shechem where the two of them were alone.”  Again, HE saw her, HE took her, HE raped her.

I felt myself really struggling with this point of view put forth by a Biblical scholar.  I have been processing this a lot recently with the Stanford rape case and my own experiences with sexual assault.  Where a woman is and what she is wearing can NEVER give the justification for assault.  We cannot continue to put the blame on women.

Women automatically go there—I know, because I did—“Is there anything I could have done differently?  Was there something I did that I should not have done, in order to prevent this?”   I know that there really isn’t–for the most modest and proper women have also experienced assault.  We can’t tell our daughters “do or don’t do this and be safe”.  If someone has that in mind and finds the opportunity, they will act.  All that I can do is try to take some precautions (not walk alone, etc.) understanding that even those may not be enough.

I talked with my husband about it, trying to get a male point of view and we discussed modesty.  One can argue that a women has a “right” to dress as she wants to, but then she will send a message no matter what.  If she makes the choice to dress provocatively, then she is sharing strong images to the people around her.  This a fact and these images more strongly impact males.  She is aware of this most likely, and is probably why she chooses to dress that way.  She may not realize however how powerfully it impacts them.  It never gives the man the “right” to take any kind of action against her, but she may be pressing an unintended trigger in some men by the way she chooses to dress.

Nothing that I am saying is new–I’ve probably read it all from someone in the last few months.  We should raise our sons to know where the boundaries are and to be respectful of women, we should not blame women for assault enacted upon them, and we should not be fearful but should take appropriate precautions in all areas of life.  I just felt riled again from studying this story and a scholar’s approach to it.  I guess that proves another salient point–the scars of our experiences also never completely go away.