Caring

It is hard to care for an aging spouse with a debilitating disease. I am sure it is also difficult to care for aging parents. It is hard to make decisions for them as they begin to get old and can no longer care for themselves. I was thinking about how hard it is to lose this ability to even make the smallest decisions. When I was at my Dad’s “home”, I saw that the menu is set and as I fed him during several meals I thought, “I would hate to eat this!” I realized that my Dad doesn’t get the choice anymore. He wouldn’t really be able to choose anyway, but some of the other residents would be able to if they were asked what they wanted to eat. They just have to eat what is on the menu, even if they can’t stand it–or, perhaps go hungry.

Now there is a much bigger decision facing our family. My father has to move, and it is hard to figure out what will be the best situation for him. Will it be okay to send him to a bigger nursing facility where he will probably be medicated more heavily? Is that healthiest choice for his family? Is that the best way for him to spend his last days? Are there better options which may in face require greater sacrifice for us? Are those options even possible? Dad can’t weigh in on these decisions. Dad will experience the stress of a change, but in the long run, it may not even make much of a difference to him one way or the other. Those impacted the most will be his wife and his family. We do not have much of Dad left, and we would be giving up more of him. Is that the best decision to make?

A big decision like this has to be laid at the feet of God, for there is no other way to make it. I know that my Lord knows what is absolutely best for my Dad, my Mom and for all of the rest of the family. I know that He can make the way clear and will help us through this.